The FALLS and falls Edition

Greetings all. I have recently added a few family members to this email list so to the uninitiated this is my weekly (lately semi weekly) update about all things ME (and my wife and dogs). There are usually photos interspersed as well (shut up Steve Snyder!!). As always if you don't want to be included send me an email and I'll remove you, but you'll be missing out on the fun. Hmmm I didn't really sell that all that well did I?? Maybe I should take a page from movie and book promotions. "I laugh all the time. I find your stories funny"- my mother in law "Two Thumbs Up"- Ebert & Roeper "People are going to start getting restraining orders against you" - my wife "Step out of the car please sir"- police officer "Get your stinkin paws off me you damn dirty ape"- Charlton Heston Anyway on to the insanity. Well it has been another fun filled week here in the St.Amant Compound North. All was going well...until today...more on that later. As you'll obviously notice this is coming at you a day earlier than normal which ties into the above comment...so be patient will ya. Last week I turned in my letter of resignation for the full time position. It was tough but there's just no way with my school schedule this fall (oy, I looked at the syllabi for two of my classes...work work work). I'm hoping they are going to let me stay on a part time basis a couple of days a week. It will help pay some bills and keep me in the loop for next summer when I can work likely as much as I want. It will be tough not to see the night shift guys because for the most part they are good people, but I won't miss being awake at (looks at watch) 5:00am and not seeing Shelley except on weekends. Unfortunately I had a setback that will hopefully not damage those chances...but again...it's coming up later (sheesh...you people just can't sit still can ya? Be honest. How many of you really just want to scroll down and get the suspense over with...hands please?? I thought so. Well it's YOUR mouse so scroll down if you must but you are throwing off this carefully choreographed narrative not to mention probably screwing with the space/time continuum but whatever...if you tear a whole in the delicate fabric of time because you can't wait like the rest of us then the safety of the universe is on your head...remember they don't name schools after jerks who nearly destroy the universe with their insatiable curiosity...how many J Robert Oppenheimer Middle Schools have YOU been to? See what I mean?) Back to the story at hand. Friday night- date night- Shell and I went to see Bourne Supremacy. Good movie! Saturday we spent the say at the Snyder Family Picnic. It was great to see some of the Snyder family that I only seem to get to see at Christmas. We also had a nice warm sunny day for a change as this summer has been rather short on those. Uncle Larry and Aunt Gloria were fabulous hosts, and we all got to play with their new puppy who still didn't have a name. Of course everyone wanted to play with the puppy but since she had no name to answer to, it made calling her a wee bit difficult. Some pictures: http://stamant.org/Albums/SnyderFamilyPicnic-07.31.04/Image1.htm (by the way for those of you who held off scrolling down and reading the 'reveal' you are to be commended for your restraint...for the rest of you nosy Nates who DID scroll down and read ahead...a) you should be ashamed of yourselves and b) how stupid and pathetic am *I*?) To continue- Sunday, getting absolutely NO sleep, we drove to Niagara Falls to see Scott, Ali, and the kids. The traffic was horrendous because it was a holiday weekend AND the Canadian Border patrol was staging a 'Work to Rule' where, in protest to the disparity in pay compared to the US guards, they subject every car and person to a complete inspection. Normally it takes a little over an hour to get to the Falls from our place, Sunday it took over 3!!!! But we got there, had a great time and here's more photos: http://stamant.org/Albums/Vacations/Image40.htm Ok so now... Those who've waited long enough have my undying gratitude for adhering to the chronology of my stories...those who DID NOT wait and have already read the following parts...I guess you're done. You may go now and probably watch the last 4 minutes of Citizen Kane, eat your dessert before dinner, and read the last chapter of a mystery novel because clearly that is the sort of reckless person you are...you just don't seem to care for the feelings of me- your humble servant. Frankly we should all just shun you. Everyone....let's turn our backs now on those sad sacks who couldn't hold it ok? We shall not speak their names. Let us hang giant scarlet letters about their necks so all will know. [THIS IS THE SPOT WHERE THE TRAUMA BEGINS] The Splat Story- August 4, 2004: Wednesday morning. Day. Interior of a small bungalow in country town in Canada. A woman prepares to go to work slaving away for her soon to be semi-employed husband with delusions of grandeur, vainly attempting a return to College. As she kisses him goodbye and leaves to toil away on a long summer day, her husband makes plans for a nice long shower and a restful sleep before having to go to work in a giant freezer, lifting heavy tubs of ice cream and such. The husband is nearly finished with his shower, and as he dutifully returns his shampoo bottle to the hanging rack, he loses his balance on the slick bathtub surface....... In the process of turning around, the husband slips and begins the classic cartoon-*whup whup whup* peddling feet motion which instead of allowing for the regaining of balance, merely speeds up the unbalancing and eventually (in what I swear to God seemed like 5 minutes of flailing legs) sends the husband lurching backwards out of the tub area. Crashing his shoulder, back and...well there's no delicate way to say it...ASS into the side of the toilet. Hanging there in a hammock like sling of the shower curtain (which didn't break?) and water flying everywhere, the husband vainly tries to return to an upright position (not an easy thing to do from this nightmare of a plastic shower curtain cocoon and a slick watery bathroom tub floor). Now to survey the damage... To myself I sustained bruising of the shoulder, back, leg and ego. I stiffened up throughout the day and had to call off from work which I know just pleases them to no end :( I've taken loads of Tylenol and I'm able to sit up and move okay now but I'm a sore puppy. I'm going to head into work tonight though. I also banged my head pretty good on the tank of the toilet and had a nice little bump there but no concussion (my wife was mainly worried about that part but I've had concussions before so I know when I DON'T have one) Other damages: The toilet tank has a huge crack in it and will have to be replaced. C'mon...look at me...look at a toilet tank...something was getting cracked in this and bring some "heft" to a fight...dig? (sorry I was watching Samuel L Jackson movies lately so I broke into jive for a second). So that's my story of spending the morning naked and wet, flailing like a hooked tuna, proving the laws of physics work (Mass and Force create Energy) and proving that God thinks I'm a big joke. There's no Deeper Thought this week as it would seem Tylenol wins out over political diatribes, so who says there isn't a silver lining to every grey cloud? Cheers, Ron p.s. Luckily for you there are no available pictures of my fall because eek...who needs actual images to go with the horrific mental ones you already have?