The I'm Clearly Going To Hell Edition

Let's just face it right now...the world is an upside down screwed up mess right now. The other night at my softball game, beyond the left field wall, a woman was doing some power walking. Now on the face of it, I have nothing against 'power walking' per se. While I've never engaged in 'power walking' myself, I can understand how someone would see the benefits of 'power walking'. (Full disclosure: While as I said I've never engaged in 'power walking', I have on several occasions done some 'power drinking' and also 'power napping'...often one right after the other which good because if 'power napping' doesn't follow the 'power drinking' then one might find themselves engaged in a bit of 'power vomiting' and inevitably...'power praying to God to stop the room from spinning at the speed of light') Now the only problem I could see with this woman's version of 'power walking' was that instead of the traditional robotic thrusting of the arms to the rythym of the stride, she was throwing her hands way into the air, as if pulling imaginary apples off on an imaginary tree (which would lead me to posit she might actually have been 'power hallucinating' after some 'power smoking of a bong'...but I digress...) Perhaps she was leading a marching band? Playing some John Phillips Sousa on her Walkman?? Or...playfully tugging at the imaginary trunk of an imaginary elephant?? Whatever she was doing she just looked plain ridiculous. I told you that story as a precursor to the more serious insanity running amok in our backyards. The real shenanigans...like Tom DeLay writing a nasty letter to the creators of "Law & Order" for making a reference to him in joking fashion in an episode where a judge has been killed. Now I don't know about you...but which do you find more offensive? A fictional character on a TV show making a joke about a Congressman who insinuated that judges might have to pay for their "reckless" judicial decisions with their lives, OR...the Congressman himself for saying it in the first place. See, I think the latter is the problem. Doesn't Tom DeLay have better things to do, like robbing women of their right to choose, ripping off Social Security to feed the Stock Market, and gerrymandering congressional districts to keep Republicans in power?? I mean seriously...that's a lot of stuff to do even when you aren't being investigated for a half dozen ethics violations. Where does he find the time? I have a full day if I have to go to the bank AND the dry cleaners. Congressman DeLay I think you're working waaaaaaay too hard...perhaps its time for another lobbyist paid "fact-finding mission" to Scotland to play golf. Or how about the school that wouldn't let a pregnant girl walk with her graduating class because well...she was pregnant. While I don't think it's a great thing that a teenage high school student got pregnant...the fact that she apparently did so AND still managed to pass classes and graduate rather than dropping out and becoming a burden on society as another casualty in the welfare state, doesn't that at least deserve allowing her to walk with her fellow classmates? Especially when the father of the baby was allowed to graduate? (Good for her, for standing up and walking across the stage and announcing her own name...before being thrown out by security) Perhaps that isn't silly enough for you, so how about the high school drama club in LA that made posters which featured President Bush dressed as Graucho Marx for their comedy show, and when one (that's ONE) student complained they made them take them down because according to the principal "We had one student who was very upset...If something is bothering a student on campus, we're going to address it." Hmm...guess all the students in school must really love those Chem finals then huh? Because I know when I was in school, my chemistry final really pissed ME off...not to mention homework, acne, gym lockers, oh and waking up at 7am. This is a big cruel world, but I think if anyone can take being made to look like Graucho Marx it might be, oh I don't know...THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD!!! Plus Graucho was pretty cool...I'd think if anyone would have a problem comparing George Bush to Graucho it would be, you know...Graucho. But he's dead. And the Republicans are all about the culture of life. Now as you know, I supported the invasion of Iraq. Still do by the way. Don't necessarily support how MY government has performed but okay... Yet I have to scratch my head, and do a few spit takes when I read President Bush defend his opposition to stem cell research by saying that he doesn't support anything that takes life to potentially save other lives. Um...like pre-emptive war? You know the whole "the good of the many outweigh the needs of the one" was something even Trekkies understand...so I'm sure Rumsfeld gets it...cause I think he probably looks pretty snappy in Klingon outfit. Well perhaps the "culture of life" doesn't count for the stupid people among us who get Alzheimer's (Ronald Reagan), diabetes (my Dad) and horrific crippling injuries (Christopher Reeve). I guess you are all just 'Red Shirts' to the 'Red States' Nice how I mixed political AND science-fiction metaphors don't you think?? Look, reasonable people can disagree about the stem cell issue. I'm sure there are several friends, or family, of mine who probably consider themselves firmly in the 'Right To Life' camp. And that's fine. We all have a right to our opinion. But we should at least have some consistency. This is actually where I think I'm a fine example of how to be constant in a political issue. I'm Pro-Choice, Pro-Death Penalty AND *for* the war...clearly I support death all down the line. I might be wrong...but at least I'm consistent! Go Death, Yay Death!! (look, a Buffy reference...I'm outdoing myself and making several of my friends laugh...I love me sometimes) Speaking of consistency...I don't want to get into the whole "did we or did we not flush the Koran down a toilet" because there's just nothing I could say that wouldn't offend half of you, and probably scare the other half of you so I'll just leave my thoughts on the subject with this.. Can we at least agree upon how to SPELL THE DAMN THING!!! Is it Koran (which I've always thought) or Quron, Qu'ran...please just pick one and let's move on. Okay, I guess I will say something (see how I lie?) and it is this...if flushing the Koran (clearly I'm choosing this as the appropriate spelling) down the toilet doesn't bother you, ask yourself this question: Would it bother you if it was the King James Bible?. And if the Koran being flushed down the toilet DOES bother you, ask yourself this question: Do you really think a healthy majority of Muslims would be upset if some Muslim guards were found flushing Bibles down the toilet?. Do you see my point?? Yes clearly I don't care. Why?? Because it shouldn't affect your faith in whatever deity you believe in. (see this is the part where I'm getting into Hell on the frequent FRYER miles) Yes you might think your book of choice is "holy", but it isn't THE BOOK itself that is holy, it is the ideas within and those can't get flushed down a toilet by anyone. The leather bound book itself is just a symbol, a sacred symbol yes, but symbols, while powerful to be sure, are just that- symbols. Yes symbols are important, especially given the situation in the world but I'll leave the subject with this short tale: In the mid 80s my father worked for the Saudi Arabian Navy, training their sailors and showing them the ropes (literally!) <--that's a sailor knot joke for my Dad Anyway, after working with them several years, he was offered a very lucrative gig IN Saudi Arabia, except that um see...the Bible is banned there. You can't have one. So which is really worse? Flushing a holy scripture down a toilet, or not it to exist in the first place. If you want a really frightening read, check out the most recent (2004) State Department Executive Summary on religious discrimination around the world. I'm not saying that if they flushed the Koran (as they probably did) that they were right...I'm just saying that most of the glass-housed nations that saw massive protests against the US today should watch where they are throwing their stones. Yep the world is really screwed, upside down...why any day now we're just going to wake up and see the most bizarre sights imaginable...like Newt and Hillary joining forces on legisla...oh wait...that already happened!!! Run for your lives!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!!!!! Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance...or in this case give you health updates: First the important people: Shell's latest ultrasound today showed everything to be hunky and/or dory. My little baby girl is also growing big inside Mommy, and has very long femurs accoring to the nurse. So clearly she'll be taking after her mum and be a tall girl. Right now she's just about 2 pounds and seemed to be trying to take some practice breaths apparently (I don't know...it all looked like gray globs in there to me, but I'm not the professional). And now the non-important peopl- me...well my back feels better, I'm still stiff and the medication the doctor has me on is pretty severe at times, but hopefully I'll be able to finally get a whole week of work in next week. And now, the photo portion of our broadcast. Our friend Barb demanded that Shell and I take a picture of ourselves, so we donned silly hats and did as commanded! Victoria Day weekend was last weekend so we took the puppies for a walk on the G'town trails. Shell and the pups explore an interesting rock formation Interesting field of trees Shell examines a shrub Dixie and Willow had a fabulous time playing in the fields A sticky pointy bush..ouch Shell told me to go climb a tree... so I did! They were having a jousting tournament at the fairgrounds so Dixie got to meet a horsey :) Two more horse pictures- mostly for Renee... Back home again and Shell started working on sanding and repainting the baby's room furniture- here she works on the dresser which will be sanded and painted a fresh white coat. Of course all Willow wants to do is play softball... well that and try and sniff the hardware of the crib...Shell loves this picture because it totally captures Willow's spirit...curious and cute :P I also did stuff...like prepping the back section for the new garden addition And Dixie just watched...which is what Dixie does best. As you can see the grass was getting pretty thick so I tried to cut it this week, however the lawnmower- which you might recall I ruined by running over the hidden water shut off valve when we first moved in- finally stopped working. Hopefully Shell can fix it, since she can fix most anything. I wound up having to borrow the neighbors mower, which actually cut the grass unlike what the electric mower had been doing for a while now, so its good and mowed...at least until a few days from now. Our grass grows sooooo fast. You know what else grows REALLY fast? - the rhubarb plant!! and the bleeding hearts have come out as well... and finally the lilac tree is in full bloom....mmmm can't you just smell it? Okay so I think I've held you up all for long enough...if you've hung on this long I'm very proud of you...I love you...and you should really lay off the cough syrup Until next time, Cheers