24 Hours I'll Never Get Back...and I Don't Care!!!!
So by now you all know...our little girl finally made her appearance last night.
But there's so much more to the story.
We had finally decided after much consultation with the midwives that Thursday we were going for the induction since at that point the baby was 41 weeks and 5 days. However as a preparation for that we had to go in Wednesday for an ultrasound to get some measurements, see how she was doing, how much amniotic fluid still floating around etc. Then we were told to call the hospital Thursday afternoon at 3pm to get the time for our induction.
But then...
Wednesday night I was downstairs watching TV when Shell yelled for me in *that voice*...the serious one. I ran upstairs and she told me she thought her water had broken- not a gush though. Still at that point we did as instructed and called the midwife. They told us to go to the hospital to be evaluated. So at 10 minutes to midnight on Wednesday night we roll into the Colonel Harlan Sanders Family Center at Trillium Hospital- Mississauga...and yes...it's THAT Colonel Sanders. It seems the old chicken magnate had lived in Mississauga, forever destroying for me the illusion of delicious southern fried chicken I had grown (and grown and grown) to finger lickin love. The Colonel, whose recognizable visage has graced so many fast food walls was right there in living black but mostly white. Great...do we get a bucket of wings and some slaw with the baby??
So in we go, up to the labor area where the midwives tell us that its a hind leak and they are going to send us back home to await the induction.
But then... (shouldn't there be really cool dramatic music here?)
Shell has a bit more of a gush and inspection by the midwives reveals the presence of meconium (for the men in the room this means the baby has had a bowel movement inside and the danger is that the baby could aspirate this). So that's that...we aren't going home, we are going to have this baby now...well sort of now. They place the fetal monitor belt on and Shell, who had been having some random contractions on the drive over, started to have a few more less random, but still distantly spaced ones. They tell us to try and get some sleep because it will be a long night. We try. She laying there wired up, me beside her in a fold out chair, whispering like we're at camp, laughing and excited and scared.
The contractions started to get more intense and eventually Shelley got very dehydrated. Maria arrived to help us around 8am (and I have to say something about Maria...I love her so so so much...she was amazing and she helped me as much as she helped Shelley). So the contractions rolled on, but unfortunately no dilation so the decision was made to go with Oxytocin to see if we could prod things along. Every few hours they would check and still no progress. Shell had wanted to do this without medication and monitors, but by 3pm Thursday (after roughly 15 hours of laboring to different degrees) she was hooked up to the fetal monitors, and now had an IV for the dehydration, and an Oxytocin drip. To say she was emotionally and physically exhausted was an understatement. She had soldiered on so bravely but her body just wasn't cooperating and the decision was then made for an epidural. I made sure I talked to Shell alone, between contractions when her mind was its clearest, to know for certain that this is what she wanted. So she finally had some relief and a chance to start to rest. At around 4pm with the epidural working its magic, Shelley feeling better, and Maria catching some sleep, Shell and I decided I'd run home and feed the dogs, get some music which we had forgotten, and I could grab a quick change of clothes and a shave- we had packed a change of clothes for me, but I'd already gone through them in 16 hours we'd already been there. So off I went to get some food and rush home. The consulting OB had told us that she'd give us about 3 hours to see what the drugs would do, but after that we'd have to go to the O.R. I kissed Shell goodbye, told her how much I loved her and left for the house.
But then...(duh dun dahhhhh)
I get home to a whirring answering machine. 20 minutes after I left the hospital the drugs had kicked Shelley into overdrive. A second message left 20 minutes after that said I'd better get back. The dogs staring at me as I ran back out the door wondering why I just came home for 6 seconds only to leave again... I rushed back to the hospital. Angry at myself for leaving, cursing my stupid bad luck, knowing that I'd get back to find the baby born and my wife telling me I screwed up and would have to live in the shed for a year or so. My mind raced "Well YOU said to go" I thought, planning on sharing the blame with her...I mean that was just as much her decision as mine!! I was just sick to my stomach, missing the birth of my baby. As much as I joked about not wanting to be there, playing a round of golf during the delivery etc...the truth is I didn't want to be anywhere else. I drove a leeeeeeetle fast (I'm pretty sure my 2000 Dodge Stratus left vapor trails on the 401). I flew into the parking lot (which is on the OTHER side of the hospital natch), ran upstairs as fast as I could in my sandals, preparing myself for the worst reaction of the midwives, Maria, Shelley and the baby.
But then....
My wife, who had been enduring this madness for 9 months...waited to push...just for me.
GOD HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So with me in place she started to go. About 40 minutes in she was doing so well. She'd gotten the hang of it, the midwives were happy with the progress and we were seeing the head moving into position. Another 40 minutes and Shelley, in what can only be best described by me as "Cowboy'd Up" pushed that baby right on out. I had planned on not seeing..you know...everything. However I saw...you know...EVERYTHING.
Shelley was shaking from the epidural (and the fact that she'd just birthed another human). The baby was shaking from the suddenly bright cold world. Maria was shaking from being able to return the birth partner favor to Shelley. And I was just shaking from watching the whole scene unfold.
After they checked her respiration (because of the meconium) they gave her to Shell and we kissed and hugged and cried (especially me). In fact I'm crying right now reliving it. So I'll just share some photos for a second whilst I compose myself..
So after some calls were made to the grandparents, Shelley took a shower and I got to dress my little girl for the first time (oy again with the crying...we'll just all have to deal with it).
And we got ready to come home where Gram and Grandps Snyder were waiting for us. Now this next picture is very VERY important. This blanket and sweater (the bonnet had fallen off in the car) that Virginia Grace is wearing to come home in, was knitted by her great-grandmother Marjorie. This outfit was worn by Gracie's grandmother Wendy, and Shelley, when they all came home from the hospital. 3 generations of Amos women have now worn this outfit home and I can't wait to show this picture to Gracie's great-grandma Marjorie in a few weeks. Such an amazing family treasure, and I hope God willing that another generation Amos woman might wear this again some day.
I can't begin to explain in words the awe I have for my wife. She has guts and determination, strength and will, character and compassion that I can only dream of having. You've all heard me say a million times how lucky I am. Last night I got a full color demonstration of it. My wife and daughter are gorgeous. I love them with a fathomless depth. Gracie is my little princess, and Shelley is my hero.
So its almost 1pm in the afternoon now. I've gotten a couple hours of sleep here and there (which yes as I've been told I know I'm going to have to get used to), Shelley and Gracie are laying the daybed, having some cuddle and snooze time. Grammy Snyder is in the living catching some sleep time too. Dixie & Willow are still trying to figure out what this cooing and fidgety thing is and they are napping in the bedroom. And me?
Well I'm writing this all out for you guys. Our family and friends- the people we love and thanking you for all your support over the last 9 months, and the love and support I know will come in the future. If indeed it takes a village to raise a child I know in my heart the village that we've chosen to surround our precious little girl with is filled with amazing people.
I want to thank most importantly Gerry and Wendy Snyder (my father and mother in law) and Lloyd and Ruth St.Amant (my dad and mom) for their unbelievable amounts of love for Shell and me.
Oh and I'm enjoying this strange quietness in the house which I suspect...will be rather rare in the next 20 years.
Cheers
But there's so much more to the story.
We had finally decided after much consultation with the midwives that Thursday we were going for the induction since at that point the baby was 41 weeks and 5 days. However as a preparation for that we had to go in Wednesday for an ultrasound to get some measurements, see how she was doing, how much amniotic fluid still floating around etc. Then we were told to call the hospital Thursday afternoon at 3pm to get the time for our induction.
But then...
Wednesday night I was downstairs watching TV when Shell yelled for me in *that voice*...the serious one. I ran upstairs and she told me she thought her water had broken- not a gush though. Still at that point we did as instructed and called the midwife. They told us to go to the hospital to be evaluated. So at 10 minutes to midnight on Wednesday night we roll into the Colonel Harlan Sanders Family Center at Trillium Hospital- Mississauga...and yes...it's THAT Colonel Sanders. It seems the old chicken magnate had lived in Mississauga, forever destroying for me the illusion of delicious southern fried chicken I had grown (and grown and grown) to finger lickin love. The Colonel, whose recognizable visage has graced so many fast food walls was right there in living black but mostly white. Great...do we get a bucket of wings and some slaw with the baby??
So in we go, up to the labor area where the midwives tell us that its a hind leak and they are going to send us back home to await the induction.
But then... (shouldn't there be really cool dramatic music here?)
Shell has a bit more of a gush and inspection by the midwives reveals the presence of meconium (for the men in the room this means the baby has had a bowel movement inside and the danger is that the baby could aspirate this). So that's that...we aren't going home, we are going to have this baby now...well sort of now. They place the fetal monitor belt on and Shell, who had been having some random contractions on the drive over, started to have a few more less random, but still distantly spaced ones. They tell us to try and get some sleep because it will be a long night. We try. She laying there wired up, me beside her in a fold out chair, whispering like we're at camp, laughing and excited and scared.
The contractions started to get more intense and eventually Shelley got very dehydrated. Maria arrived to help us around 8am (and I have to say something about Maria...I love her so so so much...she was amazing and she helped me as much as she helped Shelley). So the contractions rolled on, but unfortunately no dilation so the decision was made to go with Oxytocin to see if we could prod things along. Every few hours they would check and still no progress. Shell had wanted to do this without medication and monitors, but by 3pm Thursday (after roughly 15 hours of laboring to different degrees) she was hooked up to the fetal monitors, and now had an IV for the dehydration, and an Oxytocin drip. To say she was emotionally and physically exhausted was an understatement. She had soldiered on so bravely but her body just wasn't cooperating and the decision was then made for an epidural. I made sure I talked to Shell alone, between contractions when her mind was its clearest, to know for certain that this is what she wanted. So she finally had some relief and a chance to start to rest. At around 4pm with the epidural working its magic, Shelley feeling better, and Maria catching some sleep, Shell and I decided I'd run home and feed the dogs, get some music which we had forgotten, and I could grab a quick change of clothes and a shave- we had packed a change of clothes for me, but I'd already gone through them in 16 hours we'd already been there. So off I went to get some food and rush home. The consulting OB had told us that she'd give us about 3 hours to see what the drugs would do, but after that we'd have to go to the O.R. I kissed Shell goodbye, told her how much I loved her and left for the house.
But then...(duh dun dahhhhh)
I get home to a whirring answering machine. 20 minutes after I left the hospital the drugs had kicked Shelley into overdrive. A second message left 20 minutes after that said I'd better get back. The dogs staring at me as I ran back out the door wondering why I just came home for 6 seconds only to leave again... I rushed back to the hospital. Angry at myself for leaving, cursing my stupid bad luck, knowing that I'd get back to find the baby born and my wife telling me I screwed up and would have to live in the shed for a year or so. My mind raced "Well YOU said to go" I thought, planning on sharing the blame with her...I mean that was just as much her decision as mine!! I was just sick to my stomach, missing the birth of my baby. As much as I joked about not wanting to be there, playing a round of golf during the delivery etc...the truth is I didn't want to be anywhere else. I drove a leeeeeeetle fast (I'm pretty sure my 2000 Dodge Stratus left vapor trails on the 401). I flew into the parking lot (which is on the OTHER side of the hospital natch), ran upstairs as fast as I could in my sandals, preparing myself for the worst reaction of the midwives, Maria, Shelley and the baby.
But then....
My wife, who had been enduring this madness for 9 months...waited to push...just for me.
GOD HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So with me in place she started to go. About 40 minutes in she was doing so well. She'd gotten the hang of it, the midwives were happy with the progress and we were seeing the head moving into position. Another 40 minutes and Shelley, in what can only be best described by me as "Cowboy'd Up" pushed that baby right on out. I had planned on not seeing..you know...everything. However I saw...you know...EVERYTHING.
Shelley was shaking from the epidural (and the fact that she'd just birthed another human). The baby was shaking from the suddenly bright cold world. Maria was shaking from being able to return the birth partner favor to Shelley. And I was just shaking from watching the whole scene unfold.
After they checked her respiration (because of the meconium) they gave her to Shell and we kissed and hugged and cried (especially me). In fact I'm crying right now reliving it. So I'll just share some photos for a second whilst I compose myself..
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
So after some calls were made to the grandparents, Shelley took a shower and I got to dress my little girl for the first time (oy again with the crying...we'll just all have to deal with it).
)
And we got ready to come home where Gram and Grandps Snyder were waiting for us. Now this next picture is very VERY important. This blanket and sweater (the bonnet had fallen off in the car) that Virginia Grace is wearing to come home in, was knitted by her great-grandmother Marjorie. This outfit was worn by Gracie's grandmother Wendy, and Shelley, when they all came home from the hospital. 3 generations of Amos women have now worn this outfit home and I can't wait to show this picture to Gracie's great-grandma Marjorie in a few weeks. Such an amazing family treasure, and I hope God willing that another generation Amos woman might wear this again some day.
)
)
)
)
)
)
I can't begin to explain in words the awe I have for my wife. She has guts and determination, strength and will, character and compassion that I can only dream of having. You've all heard me say a million times how lucky I am. Last night I got a full color demonstration of it. My wife and daughter are gorgeous. I love them with a fathomless depth. Gracie is my little princess, and Shelley is my hero.
So its almost 1pm in the afternoon now. I've gotten a couple hours of sleep here and there (which yes as I've been told I know I'm going to have to get used to), Shelley and Gracie are laying the daybed, having some cuddle and snooze time. Grammy Snyder is in the living catching some sleep time too. Dixie & Willow are still trying to figure out what this cooing and fidgety thing is and they are napping in the bedroom. And me?
Well I'm writing this all out for you guys. Our family and friends- the people we love and thanking you for all your support over the last 9 months, and the love and support I know will come in the future. If indeed it takes a village to raise a child I know in my heart the village that we've chosen to surround our precious little girl with is filled with amazing people.
I want to thank most importantly Gerry and Wendy Snyder (my father and mother in law) and Lloyd and Ruth St.Amant (my dad and mom) for their unbelievable amounts of love for Shell and me.
Oh and I'm enjoying this strange quietness in the house which I suspect...will be rather rare in the next 20 years.
Cheers
---------------------------------------------
3 Comments:
Oooooh darlin - you made me cry in my office. That was beautiful. And while you should be so proud of Shell and of Gracie (which I will always go on record for guessing correctly...so neener), you should be so proud of yourself too...you're going to be a wonderful daddy, both Shell and Gracie are lucky to have you too :)
CONGRATS Brother to you and Shell.....She's beautiful. Thanks for making me an uncle again & Welcome to Fatherhood. Trust me when I say you have alot of great and wonderful times ahead with the new addition to the St.Amant family. Can't wait to see her in person. Love to Shelly. I'm pretty sure she's glad (the pregnancy) is over....lol Love you Guys !!!!!
What a beautiful, sweet, adorable little girl! She is definately a keeper :) We miss y'all so much and hope to plan a trip soon to visit! Give Shell and Gracie a hug from her Auntie Missy and Uncle David :) Take it easy and take naps with the baby so you can recharge too! Congrats to the StAmant family!!! Love, The Andrews :)
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